Hide And Seek
by ThePossibilityOfMagic
Summary: For Detective Kate Beckett, every case comes at a price.  But only Richard Castle knows that sometimes, that price is too high for her to pay alone.


_So, this here's a little something I've been working on. I quite like it, so I'm hoping you do too._

_If you've read any of my stories before, you know the drill- I'm all about the self-improvement, so if there's any single part of this story that needs changing (particularly any OOC-ness) let me know, and I'll do my best to fix it. _

_So anyways, here it is._

* * *

Castle was already halfway to Beckett's desk, a hot coffee in either hand, when he realized that something was very wrong.

Confused, he halted midstride, his forehead creasing as he frowned. Turning on the spot, he addressed Ryan and Esposito, who were working silently at their desks, appearing deep in concentration.

"Where's Beckett?"

Ryan looked up first, wearing the trademark puzzled expression that so often caused him to be underestimated by colleagues and criminals alike. Glancing over at Beckett's desk, he tilted his head, apparently intrigued by the lack of the female detective's presence. Looking back up at Castle, he jerked his shoulders in a mystified shrug, then called upon his partner.

"Yo, Esposito. You see where Beckett went?"

Pushing away from his desk, Esposito swivelled his chair to face the other two.

"Nope. Been too busy working hard. And, you might have noticed, but my desk faces _this_ way," he said dryly, jerking a thumb back over his shoulder, "and I don't got eyes in the back of my head."

"Funny," Ryan retorted, his eyes narrowing. "She could have come past or something, like if she went to the break room."

Esposito grinned, clearly enjoying messing with his partner.

"Dude, Castle was just in the break room. Don't you think he might have noticed her walk in? After all, the guy barely takes his eyes off her," he said, sending a mischievous glance in Castle's direction, which went entirely unnoticed.

"You know, if you're not going to help, how about you just get back to that work you were so busy doing?" Ryan said huffily, turning his chair away from his partner in a clearly dismissive move.

"Aw, no way. This paperwork is so goddamn dull that I'm tempted to go out and murder someone just so we have something to do."

"That'd be pretty stupid," Ryan answered, turning around to face him once more, "'Cause we'd catch you and lock you up so fast that I'd be back to this paperwork by midafternoon, with all the _additional _paperwork I'd have to do for busting your ass. At least hire someone to commit the murder for you, so we get a little time out in the field before I'd figure it out and have to arrest you."

"Do you really think you could bring me in?" Esposito asked teasingly, grinning. "I could crush you in a fight any day, man. And don't think that I'd go easy on you just because you were my partner. I'd be a fugitive on the run, looking out for numero uno. It's the law of the jungle."

"Pfft. I could so take you on," Ryan answered scornfully, looking his partner up and down. "You're all talk and no action, but I got the real power where it counts."

"Oh yeah, you think so? How 'bout we settle this right here and now…" and with that, the two of them began bickering about who would be the likely victor in an all-out arm-wrestling match, having completely forgotten all about Castle and his original question.

Castle himself had been paying little attention to their exchange; instead his eyes had been busily scanning the Precinct, searching for any clue as to Beckett's whereabouts. Finding none, he silently placed a coffee on each of the two detectives' desks, then crossed the floor to Beckett's desk, checking for her coat and belongings. Finding everything in its proper place, he paused, frowning.

So, she was definitely somewhere in the building. But the question was, _where_?

"Yo, Castle," Esposito called, looking up briefly from his furious arm-wrestle with Ryan, "why don't you try the ladies' room?"

Without waiting for a reply, he returned his attention to the wrestle, his expression reverting into a mask of concentration and determination.

Biting his lip, Castle nodded silently to himself. The ladies' room had certainly been atop his list of Beckett's possible locations, but with that fact arose a slightly awkward situation.

The proper thing to do would be to simply take his seat and wait for her, rather than invading her privacy by knocking on the door to the bathroom, an action that would quite possibly also make him look like an overreacting, overly concerned fool.

But he simply couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right with the whole situation; Beckett had been unusually quiet and withdrawn all day, and very few of his attempts at humour had even remotely succeeded in their goal of making her smile, something that was never a good sign.

True, the case they had just been working on had been tougher than most; the murder of an innocent little boy named Malcolm Edwards, it had been a horrific case, and he knew that they had all been deeply affected by it.

He'd already seen clearly how Ryan and Esposito had turned to black humour and goofing around to deal with the horror of it all– they all had their own processes. For Ryan and Esposito, it was the humour. For Montgomery, it was being with his family. For Lanie, it was being with Esposito.

Personally, Castle had gone home and hugged Alexis for a very long time. And, like the amazing daughter she was, she had selflessly allowed it, knowing just how much he'd needed it.

But Beckett had no one to hold her. When she and Josh had ended, Castle had been beyond elated, but right now he found himself wishing greatly that she still had Motorcycle Boy in her life. Josh would have looked after her, and more importantly, she would have allowed him to.

He'd known immediately that she would take the Edwards case extremely hard, but to have her disappear so suddenly… something more was going on here and he needed to find out what. And more than that, he needed to know she was okay.

Crossing the room, he approached the door to the ladies' bathroom, feeling slightly awkward. But he also knew that if he didn't check, the uncertainty and worry would simply continue to eat at him, and when he considered it that way, a little bit of awkwardness was definitely the preferable option.

Just as he reached the door, it suddenly opened, and his breath caught in his throat as his mind immediately scrambled to come up with an excuse for his prying that Beckett might actually believe.

Except it wasn't Beckett.

Exhaling heavily, Castle politely stepped aside for the officer– a tall blonde named Olivia Peterson who was a big fan of his books– and was suddenly struck by an idea.

"Hey, Olivia," he said suddenly, "Could you just duck back inside and see if Beckett's in there? She's got an urgent phone call on the line and I can't find her."

"Having trouble keeping track of your lady friend, huh Castle?" Olivia asked slyly, grinning. Then, sending him a conspiratorial wink, she said, "Don't worry, I'll have a look for you."

Disappearing back inside, she left Castle standing alone, wondering just how obvious his feelings for Beckett must be if even his passing acquaintances knew how he felt about her. Could they even be obvious enough for Beckett to notice?

He sincerely hoped not.

A moment later his musings were cut short as Olivia once more emerged from the bathroom.

"She's definitely not in there. I gave the place a proper sweep and I'm positive it's totally empty. Sorry, Castle."

"That's okay. Thanks for checking, Olivia."

"Anytime," she responded with a grin, then headed off towards her desk. Castle leaned against the wall for a moment, wondering at his next move. From the spot where he stood, he could see directly into Montgomery's office, which was clearly empty, so it appeared he could cross that off his list.

That pretty much left the stairwell– sometimes when she received a call and the Precinct was too noisy, she'd move into the stairwell to hear better– or the shooting range, where he'd found her once before. Slipping his hand into his pocket, he toyed with his phone. Maybe he should try calling her first.

With a brief glance over at her empty desk, he pushed himself away from the wall and began heading down the corridor towards the stairwell, pulling out his phone as he went.

Reaching the stairwell door, he opened it and stuck his head inside, looking around hopefully. Seeing that the stairwell was completely empty, his hope soon turned to disappointment, and he closed the door with a sigh.

Leaning against the wall, he pressed a button on his speed dial and waited, listening as his phone dialled her number. After listening to the dial tone for a few moments, he began to notice a different, quieter noise, and lowered his phone, curious.

Pushing away from the wall, he began walking slowly down the corridor, following the faint strains of music. As he neared the source, the music grew slightly louder, and he realized with slight surprise that he'd heard the song before.

Pausing, he closed his eyes, searching his memory.

"Calling You", by Blue October. That's what Beckett had said it was. He remembered that they'd been on their way to talk to a potential suspect, and then she'd heard it playing over the radio, and simply stopped in the middle of the store, smiling. Confused, he'd stopped too, wondering what exactly was going on and what the hell he'd missed. She must have noticed his curious expression because she suddenly looked almost embarrassed, explaining curtly that she liked the song, and left it at that.

The next moment she was on the move again, all business, and he'd soon forgotten all about it.

Opening his eyes, he took a couple of steps closer to the source of the mysterious noise, an unmarked door that he'd never been through before. He was just reaching for the doorknob when he suddenly remembered the phone in his hand.

Hastily lifting it to his ear, Castle listened once more, hoping to hear Beckett's voice abusing him from the other end of the line, but instead hearing only the lonely sound of the phone still continuing to ring unanswered.

With a disappointed sigh, Castle hung up, then slowly reached once more for the knob. As he closed his fingers around it, he suddenly realized that he could no longer hear the music coming through the door. Pausing, he glanced down at his phone with sudden understanding, exhaling softly as the significance of the music finally dawned upon him.

Apparently, he had just found Beckett.

Steadying himself, Castle took a deep breath, and slowly opened the door.

And immediately noticed two things.

One, Beckett was just on the other side of the door.

And two, she was standing in a cleaning closet.

"Uh…" Castle began hesitantly, too bemused to be articulate. Standing uncertainly in the doorway, he simply looked at Beckett, who was leaning silently against the wall, eyes closed.

Suddenly she spoke in a low voice, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"Either you're in or you're out, Castle."

Castle didn't even pause to consider. Stepping quickly inside, he gently pulled the door shut, then leaned against the wall opposite Beckett, studying her silently. They were standing close enough together– there was barely two feet of space separating them– that he was able to observe her closely, examining her face for any hint of what might be wrong. Her eyes were still closed, so he could read nothing from her gaze, but he didn't really need to. He knew her face as well as he knew his own, and he could clearly see the tiny signs– just the faintest shadows under her eyes and the barely detectable lines at the corners of her mouth– that betrayed her.

Beckett was exhausted. And even more than that, she seemed strained, but was clearly working hard to hide it.

For a few minutes neither of them spoke, simply standing together in a companionable silence. Castle was still riddled with curiosity and concern, but now that he'd found her, he was no longer consumed by worry. Now that he was with her, and could see with his own eyes that she was okay, he was completely willing to wait as long as it took for her to be ready to open up to him.

Settling himself more comfortably against the wall, Castle closed his own eyes, and waited.

He didn't have to wait too long.

"I just had to get away for a little while."

Opening his eyes, he found her watching him with a grave expression. He raised his eyebrows slightly, but said nothing, letting her tell him at her own pace.

Holding his gaze, she gave a soft sigh. "I haven't been sleeping well lately."

He tweaked one eyebrow, just a fraction, and she shook her head, giving him a tiny, rueful smile.

"Okay, I haven't been sleeping at _all_ lately."

The corner of his mouth twitched, and he gave her a tiny nod, encouraging her to continue.

Taking a deep breath, she dropped her gaze, seeming embarrassed.

"I've been having nightmares," she admitted in a low voice, then sighed, and continued hesitantly.

"It's always the same one. I'm back in that alley where Malcolm was killed, and I'm on the ground, holding him in my arms. And there's blood. So much blood, and it's just _everywhere_. All over him, all over me. And he's just looking up at me with this accusing expression, as if he's saying that I should have been there for him. That I should have saved him."

Crossing her arms protectively across her chest, Beckett exhaled shakily.

"And then suddenly _you're_ there, and my dad, and Lanie, Ryan, Esposito, even Montgomery. You're all just standing together, watching me. But then the asphalt beneath all of you begins to crack, then starts dropping away piece by piece, and suddenly you're all screaming my name, begging for me to help you. And I try to get up, to run to you, but suddenly Malcolm grabs me, and I can't move. He's holding me so tight, demanding that I save _him_, not you."

"And then the ground beneath you just… falls away. There's nothing I can do. I have to just sit there and watch as everyone I care about disappears into a huge, black hole, and even after you fall I can still hear your screams."

She shuddered, still avoiding his eyes.

"The worst part is that after I've just lost you all, Malcolm goes limp in my arms, and when I look down his eyes are so blank and I realize that he's gone, too. You're all gone and I couldn't do anything to save any of you."

For several moments neither of them moved or spoke, the grave admission weighing heavily upon them both. Then Beckett closed her eyes and dropped her head, sighing heavily.

"It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid," Castle responded quietly, his eyes never leaving her face. His chest ached for her, knowing just how much this case had cost her and how much pain it had caused. To tell the truth, he understood her pain much better than she realized; Malcolm's case had given him a few nightmares of his own.

Beckett lifted her head slowly, her eyes meeting his for the first time since she'd begun speaking about her nightmare. Castle simply held her gaze, letting her read whatever she wanted in his eyes. For a moment they simply stared at each other, then her eyes widened slightly and she swallowed, looking away.

Pushing herself away from the wall, she cleared her throat.

"We should really get back to work," she said uneasily, taking a step toward the door and reaching for the knob. Acting on impulse, Castle stepped forward to intercept her, placing a hand on her arm. She froze, staring at him, and he took a careful step forward, his eyes never leaving hers as he slowly put his arms around her, pulling her against him.

He felt her body stiffen in his embrace, then begin to pull away. Reflexively, his arms tightened around her, holding her in place.

"Please, Kate. You're not the only one who has nightmares," he said quietly, then admitted, "Even if you don't need this, I do."

But despite his words, he loosened his grip, leaving her free to pull away from him. For a few seconds she was still, as if deciding.

And then she surprised him.

Her arms wrapped tightly around his back, her hands clenching in his jacket, and she buried her face in his shoulder, her body pressing close against his.

For a single moment he was frozen with astonishment, before he reacted, closing his arms around her once more. After hesitating a second longer, he rested his cheek against her hair, his hands gently rubbing her back.

"It's okay," he said softly, his voice low and comforting. "I'm here. I've got you."

He could feel her shuddering against him, her body wracked with silent sobs. His heart felt like it was being torn into pieces, and he tightened his grip around her, blinking back the sudden tears that were burning at the back of his eyes.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he drew in a ragged breath, then pressed his lips gently to her hair.

"It's okay, Kate," he assured her quietly, his voice suddenly hoarse. "I've got you."

Her hands clenched tighter in his jacket, and she clung to him even more desperately as she fought to bring herself back under control. Breathing in the subtle scent of her perfume, Castle simply held her, knowing there was nothing else he could do for her. Gradually her shudders began to subside, then finally stopped altogether, and he felt her chest rise and fall against him as she took a deep, uneven breath, then slowly let it out.

For a few moments neither of them moved, and then Castle felt her arms loosen, her hands releasing their grip on his jacket. Immediately he forced himself to let go of her, his arms dropping reluctantly to his sides. Looking down at her, he watched silently as she hastily wiped her eyes on her sleeve, blowing out a shaky breath.

Taking a small step back, she put a little space between them– both literally and figuratively, Castle thought resignedly– then looked up to meet his eyes.

"Thanks, Castle," she said softly, and he gave her a tiny smile.

"Anytime, Detective."

Beckett sent him a small, tremulous smile in return, then sighed.

"We'd better get back, before they start to wonder where we are."

"Oh, I'm sure they're already wondering. But don't worry, they probably just think we're having a steamy rendezvous in the stairwell or something," Castle said mischievously, and Beckett shot him a sardonic look.

"Great," she said, her voice dry.

Castle grinned wickedly, then gestured grandly towards the door.

"Well, after you, Detective."

Giving him another sharp look, she turned away and grasped the doorknob, pushing the door open. Following her through the doorway, Castle pulled the door shut behind them, thinking.

"You know," he said suddenly, as he fell into step beside her, "If you wanted, I'd be happy to offer my services to help keep those nightmares away."

Slowing, she sent him a incredulous glance, and he grinned playfully.

"Seriously. I don't snore, and I promise I'd keep my hands to myself. I'd just be there for company. Just so you could get some proper sleep," he persisted, only half-joking now.

"That's a sweet offer, Castle, but I think it has one major flaw," Beckett said casually, pausing to look up at him, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"What's that?" he asked, utterly confused.

Her gaze dropped to his lips, then lifted to meet his eyes once more. Castle felt his heart suddenly begin pounding faster as she slowly stepped forward and lifted on her toes, placing her mouth close beside his ear. Involuntarily, his eyes fluttered shut, feeling her warm breath feathering against his skin. When she spoke, her words were quiet, her voice a low, seductive whisper.

"You're making the assumption that if you and I shared a bed, there would be sleeping involved."

His heart kicked into overdrive, his eyes shooting open as she stepped back, looking at him with one eyebrow arched devilishly. Then she smirked slightly and turned away, continuing down the corridor as if nothing had happened.

She was already several feet ahead of him before he regained the ability to breathe, and by the time he remembered how to move, there was a distance of several yards between them.

Pausing, she looked back at him amusement.

"You coming?"

Smiling slightly at the familiar question, Castle jogged to catch up, and within moments was once again by her side.

Which was exactly where he hoped to be for the rest of his life.

* * *

_So, what did you think? I hope you'll let me know :)_

_And by the way, I really recommend having a listen to that song I mentioned. It's great :)_

_One last thing before you go! I was very honoured to recieve a mini-fic response to this story, and I enjoyed it so much that I wanted to post it here for you guys to see._

_So this lovely little piece is by the wonderful **Marine-CO (CastleName: Tess)**.Enjoy :)_

###

Javier Esposito simply couldn't help the small smile that was slowly spreading across his face.

It was a smile you didn't often see him wear, especially when Castle and Beckett were the reason for it. With them, it was normally a very different smile, an easy, teasing grin.

But not this time. No.

Because, this time, they'd disappeared for half an hour.

First Beckett, followed by Castle shortly after.

Of course, while they were gone, he and Ryan had joked and speculated extensively about the possibly not-so-innocent activities they may have been engaging in.

Because honestly, the case they had just closed had been a very difficult one. They were all stressed, exhausted and frankly unnerved by it. And they did what they could to cope with it, looking to their families or partners for help and support.

But Beckett had no one to help her.

So naturally, Javier had amusedly supposed that maybe Castle had taken on the task of 'comforting' her, probably in the most sensual way he could imagine.

But, when they finally returned, he knew he'd had it all wrong.

Nothing in their behaviour let him guess what happened. Nothing at all. Their clothes were neat, their hair perfectly in place, their faces composed.

Everything was normal.

The only thing that was different, the only tell, was the wet little mark on Castle's shirt.

Right on his shoulder.

###

_Awesome, wasn't it? Thanks again, Tess :)_

_And thanks everyone for reading!_


End file.
